Lately, I’ve been very invested in the music side of my life. I suppose this makes sense given that Summer is the busy time for the band when most of the festivals take place. But the last several days have been wholly dedicated to the writing side of my life. I didn’t have any band responsibilities; I took time off work; and I went to World Fantasy Convention. Unlike ComiCon, this wasn’t a fan event. It was geared towards people with a serious professional interest in fantasy publishing: writers, publishers, editors, illustrators, etc.
This is the first time in a while that I’ve ventured off to do something completely on my own and for myself and it was fantastic. Sometimes, living as I do with my parents, I forget that I’m a fully capable adult human being; it’s good to be reminded of the truth.
I left home Wednesday morning and drove the six and a half hours between Maine and Saratoga Springs, NY. This is the first time I’ve ever driven that amount of time completely on my own. My dad and I did a cross-country road trip together a few years back, but we shared the driving and at that point I was only really able to drive for three hours at a time. I suppose I was nervous about the driving. The night before I imagined all the things that could go wrong on the drive: crashing, flat tire, getting lost, breaking down, etc. None of those things came to pass. The drive was smooth and uneventful. I chose to take a slightly longer route through New Hampshire and Vermont rather than risk driving in Massachusetts. I drove through beautiful mountain country: red and orange and purple in the depth of autumn. I could not have asked for a more beautiful drive down.
I arrived at Saratoga Springs well before dark and checked into my hotel – a lovely little inn. I booked my hotel early, but not early enough to get a room in the main hotel where the most of the convention attendees were staying. That said, there were still many people from the con staying at the same place where I stayed. I registered for the convention and got my name badge (I now have a collection of name badges from various cons and music events. Part of me wonders why I bother to keep them while another part of me wants to see how many I can collect over the course of my life time. Maybe that’s not the best ambition.).
Then I got my book bag. It was a wonderful surprise to be handed a tote bag full of books as part of my registration. If there’s anything I love more than books, it’s free books.
I feel that as a person I’m particularly wracked by fear and nervousness. I don’t think that being a storyteller helps to sooth that fear. I tell myself all sorts of stories and get myself worked up before things even have a chance to take place. I was afraid coming to World Fantasy Convention that I wouldn’t fit in. A universal fear I suppose. We all want to fit in somewhere. In high school I was never too concerned about fitting in. I knew that I probably wouldn’t and I was okay with that, but I really wanted to fit in at WFCon. These are the people I want to connect with, the world I want to build a career in and I was terrified going in that I wouldn’t fit. So, on Wednesday – the day before the con officially started – when I learned that Tor was throwing a kick-off party, I was at first hesitant to go. I made myself go and I found that my fear was unfounded.
I did fit in and I met some wonderful people. We chatted about books and writing and other things (I actually managed to sell a CD, since I’ve taken to carrying a few copies in my purse at all times. Now all I need to do is to remember to keep an equivalent number of five dollar bills in with the CDs so I can actually make change.). Later, I went out to dinner/drinks with people I’d only just met. It all felt very new and exciting and it made me realize at once how very young and inexperienced I am but also that I’m capable of doing normal person things. I don’t have much experience with being normal. It probably comes from spending far too much time in my head with people I’ve made up. But it was nice to be in a situation where for once I was not beyond the norm, because everyone in the room was like me. And it was nice to be treated with respect when I talked about my writing. All to often when people ask what I write and I say that I’m writing a fantasy novel they give me this look. It’s a difficult look to describe, but I suppose it’s the kind of look that adults give to a seven-year-old who has just declared they’re going to be a ninja princess astronaut who bakes cake using fire shot from their eyes. Nobody gave me that kind of look, instead they asked me more about my book.
I’ll write more about the con as the week progresses, but for now I actually have to get some work and writing done.
Thank you for reading.
Glad to meet you there. Can’t wait to read your novel and I’ll see you at next years convention!