My Thanks

One of the things about growing up with a father who works in Emergency Medicine is that he’s never been guaranteed to get the holidays off. So, we’ve gotten used to celebrating Thanksgiving on Friday or Saturday or once we even celebrated it an entire week after the official holiday. This year we’re celebrating tomorrow.

It’s sort of odd to still be anticipating a holiday that most everyone else in the country has already celebrated. People are eating turkey and potato sandwiches today and we haven’t even bought our turkey yet. Not that I mind, I still get the holiday. We still eat the food and express our thanks. In fact, I suppose one of the things I’m thankful for is the fact that we don’t put the holiday’s importance in the actual day, but in the meaning of the day. Thanksgiving isn’t about eating turkey on the fourth Thursday of November, it’s about cooking together and eating together and enjoying the bounty of the earth and reflecting on the highs and lows of the year. And it certainly isn’t just the day before Black Friday, which is hands down my least favorite day of the year. The very idea of Black Friday makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me want to scream in outrage, to call upon the wrathful gods of ancient myth to cast fire down upon this culture of corporate consumerism. But most of all Black Friday makes me sad, because only the day before, everyone was home being thankful for the things they already have and now they’re pushing and shoving their way through the throngs to get to the best deals. Black Friday tarnishes the silver perfection that is Thanksgiving.

But I didn’t sit down to write a rant against Black Friday, I want to write about what I’m thankful for on this day between everyone else’s Thanksgiving and my own. This year has been a different year, a year of stepping forward, of asserting my identity. It’s been a year of letting go of fear, of casting aside all the walls I’d built around myself to reveal the person I’ve always been, but have been afraid to show the world. And I am thankful for everyone who has supported me in the process: Amy, who has been teaching me to let go of my fears; Kathrin,  who helps me keep my faith in myself; Vicki and Joyce who recognize my strengths and talents and push me to strengthen my weaknesses; my grandparents who love me unconditionally; and my parents who recognize the fact that I’m growing and changing and are learning how to let me fumble my way into adulthood.

And I’m thankful for my friends who know my truest self and do not laugh at me or turn away, but rather embrace me and love me and allow me to love them in return.

I’m also thankful for this blog and for those of you who read it, who visit the site even when I haven’t posted anything new. I cannot express the joy and wonderment I feel when I’m looking at my site stats and I see that people have been reading my blog in Brazil and in Russia and in other far off place. You, my readers, inspire me to keep writing, to keep peeling away the layers between the world and my truest self and for that I thank you all with the most profound gratitude I can muster. If we were faced with each other, standing in the same room with no cyber space between us, I would sink to the ground and place my forehead to the floor, so grateful that you continue to read my musings and rantings.

Thank you so very much for reading.