I’ve done so much this year that it feels like I should just take next year off. Which is bizarre considering that I’ve just passed the first anniversary of resigning my full-time job.
So what exactly did I do?
In January, I finished my part of recording All Stove Up for Miners Creek and then went to Australia for two and a half months.
While in Australia, I finished the first draft of a novel and prepped for a writing workshop. I also did some preliminary work for the Kickstarter I ran later in the year.
In April, I flew back to the states, visited my grandparents and attended the Futurescapes Writers Workshop in Sundance, Utah, which was an incredibly intense and rewarding experience.
During May, I recovered and reintegrated myself into the band.
In June, Miners Creek launched our third album and the Kickstarter to fund it. We also started our intense gig season.
During the Summer, my person visited, I dog-sat quite a bit, and my band played 2-3 gigs a week for three months.
In July, I attended one of my best friend’s weddings.
Throughout this time, I worked on the final revisions of my completed novel and started sending out query letters.
In September, I taught bass at Vacationland Bluegrass Jam Camp.
In October, the band started recording our fourth album, and I got my first tattoo.
In October my grandfather died.
In November, I attended the World Fantasy Convention in Baltimore and finished my parts of the recording.
In November, I flew back to Australia and kept querying.
In December, I wrote most of the first draft of my WIP, which I should finish in early January 2019.
And there are other, important things I did this year, like accepting the fact that I need medical help to function with my generalized anxiety. That’s probably the thing I’m most proud of doing. I took control of my mental health. I acknowledged that I have problems and I went out to get help. I’m still working with my doctor on my exact diagnosis, but I’ve made progress, and I’ve been happier this year than I’ve felt in years. I don’t get trapped in cycles of catastrophizing nearly as frequently. I’m more in touch with my emotions than I’ve let myself be since I was a middle schooler.
It’s taken a shit-ton of mental and emotional energy to get to the place I’m at right now, and I’m god damned proud of myself. My stress levels have gone way down and my tendency to second-guess myself has decreased drastically. I feel like an entirely different person than I was a year ago.
I’m not sure what the next year will bring me. I just know that I have to keep pursuing my goals. I have to keep walking the tightrope. I can’t look back or sideways or else I’ll fall off. I need to keep querying, keep tending to my mental health, keep dedicating time and energy to my relationships, and avoid falling into my self-destructive habits. It won’t be easy, but I’m excited to take up the challenge. I’m excited to try to become a functioning adult human being.
Thanks so much for reading and Happy New Year!
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